Surgery with a Toddler?

[heyct]

Hi all,

I'm still weighing the options, radiation or surgery. I was wondering how members coped or what specific support I will need post-op since I have a 27lb., active 20 month old to take care of. Should I just count on putting him in a daycare?

It seems the concensus is that if I have surgery, I may be fatigued, light-headed, dizzy, drunk-feeling & may not be able to pick my son up for a while, even tho I don't have these symptoms now.

Kudos to all you moms out there who already did it. I'm a bit freaked on how I will handle this issue.
Any advice would be appreciated!

Thanks,
Carolyn

[mk]

Hello Carolyn and welcome. You will find a lot of support here.

Many of us have young kids, and we understand your anxiety all too well.

I noticed from the signature that your AN is very small. So, unless it really causes major problems, you can probably go into Watch and Wait mode, without doing anything for now. This should buy you some time until your little one grows up a bit. I know that some doctors will push you into seeking treatment right away, but make sure to research all your options, and afterwards you can chose whatever you feel more confortable with. With an AN your size, you have plenty of time on your side.

Feel free to ask many questions - people here are more than happy to share their experiences.

Marianna

[heyct]

Hi Mariana,

Thanks for your response. I guess I'm lucky the tumor is relatively small (1/2 an almond size). My initial recommendation was to take action. My only symptoms are: hearing loss, occassional tinnitus, but the big one is facial spasms. There is some concern it is a facial schwannoma instead. MRI also indicates something is going on w/the facial nerve. I think that's why I'm not W&W mode. I have consults w/Dr. Jackler & Dr. Chang @ Stanford on 4/14, hopefully that will add some clarity for me.

Carolyn

[sgerrard]

I have consults w/Dr. Jackler & Dr. Chang @ Stanford on 4/14, hopefully that will add some clarity for me.

They are some of the best; you will get a good picture of where you stand from them.

If you do have surgery, I think the usual experience is that you need help during the first two or three weeks, anyway. There is a lot of fatigue, and usually some assortment of symptoms, along with the activity restrictions. Family, friends, neighbors, or even hired help if need be. For many of us, asking for help is a new experience, but this is the time to learn how.

Steve

[lori67]

Hi Carolyn,

I had a 4 year old and a 10 month old when I had my surgery.  The good thing was that my 10 month old wasn't terribly mobile at the time - just crawling and not yet running around, like I'm sure yours is.  But, on the bright side, you can get your 20 month old to help you out quite a bit.  You can help him to climb into his chair without actually lifting him, or help him climb into the bathtub - things like that.  You may need to do things to make your life a little easier, like keeping things you'll need for the day handy to minimize trips up the stairs or to the other end of the house.

My 4 year old was in preschool 2 days a week at that point, so I had to arrange rides for her until I was able to drive.  With only one of them at home during the day, I was able to take a nap when my little one did.  When my husband got home from work, he'd pretty much take over and I'd do what I could until I felt like I needed to go to bed for the night.  Some days that was right after dinner, and other days I'd last a little longer - it takes a little while to build up your endurance after surgery.

You really just have to learn to set your priorities, which is not always easy - we all want to be able to do it all.  But, you realize that you and your son are the most important and the dirty dishes and laundry can wait if necessary.

I hope you get some good answers from your doctors.

Good luck!
Lori

[anissa]

I will let you know in a couple of weeks   I have translab on Wednesday and will come home to 4 kiddos, ages 5, 5, 3, and 1.  Luckily I have family around and my husband is going to take a couple weeks off work.  Best wishes to you as you move forward with your AN.

[krbonner]

My kids were 4 years and 18 months when I had my surgery and I'm a stay-at-home mom.  Honestly, there was no way I could've been left at home alone with them for the first 3ish weeks.  I needed to be able to rest whenever I felt like it to aid my own recovery, and it was just to hard to move around enough to really take care of them.  And I really wasn't safe driving for about a month - that's about how long it took for the dizziness to subside.  Fortunately, my mother was able to move in for a few weeks and help, as well as my husband taking some time off work.  And I had a wonderful group of friends that brought us dinner every other night for several weeks.

I wasn't home alone with my kids until about a month post-op.  I probably could've done it a bit sooner if I really had to, but I think that would've extended my recovery time.

Radiation would be a less drastic recovery, but you might still have some fatigue issues and should have help, if possible, so you can sleep as needed.  But that's a great topic for discussion when you meet with the doctors at Stanford.

Good luck!
Katie

[bell]

Good luck with your decision, I am 41/2 months post op and kids were almost 11,9.  They were wonderful and my husband took time off of work.  Freinds also brought over meals for 2 weeks.  You will definetly need help after surgery.  I had a 10ld. weight restriction for over 2 months.  Everyone is different so keep a positive attitude.  Research alot, and keep in tough.  Bell 

[leapyrtwins]

Make sure you have help for the first couple of weeks post op.

In addition to physical limitations, you'll be very fatigued.

You should accept any and all offers of help; don't feel guilty; don't be shy.

Jan

[Cheryl R]

Hello.  You made mention of a possible facial neuroma.      I had one 3 yrs ago.  We had a feeling mine was also as I was having facial drooping but no spasms.         My surgeon planned ahead and told me he would take some nerve from by my ear and graft in if he had to sever the facial nerve. He did have to and did so.  Just made a longer trans lab incision.        Recovery was pretty like a regular trans lab.      I am NF2 so already had had a mid fossa on that side.       I was told it would be  a good 8 mos to see improvement of the facial paralysis and that was about right and continued for much longer.      I did not get 100% improvement but good enough to be happy with considering.   I look ok with my face at rest and do my own perfected closed mouth smile.   
I go to the University of Iowa for my treatment and very happy we have it in Iowa.   
  So make sure to ask your dr if he has done this and has experience with it.
                                                    Cheryl R

[calimama]

Hi Carolyn,

I had surgery last june and my little girl was about 15 months.

I was in hospital for a week... a good thing as i was pretty wiped out and just needed a lot of sleep and care...pretty much totally helpless!! My hubbie and mom managed Cali (who was in daycare during the week) at nights and on the weekend. Mom, bless her, looked after me during the weekdays in hospital. I didn't see my daughter until day 6 in hospital and I looked very rough...she seemed kind of scared of me! That was sad, but i was happy to see her, and then to say bye to carry on resting for another 2 days.

Once i got home, i did what i could but didn't pick her up until a few weeks after surgery (but for example, i would change her, hold her, just needed someone to do the lifting). My hubbie was Mr. Mom for the first week at home, then my in-laws arrived for a month and they were happy to help out with the little one. We took her out of daycare once they arrived, and she stayed out til i returned to work at the end of the 3rd month.

The thought of major surgery with a little one at home is very daunting, but if you can line up some friends/family to help you through the first 3 weeks, you should be fine. Time will fly by after treatment and things will fall into place.

Good luck.

[heyct]

Hi Everyone,

It almost reminds me of preparation for my childbirth! Prepare lots of food, have everyone stop by & I'll look back & it will just be a blur:)
OK, well not quite the happiest of occassions.

Thank you so much for your input & esp. Anissa, best of luck in your upcoming surgery.
Carolyn