Post-op blues

[Jim Scott]

DLM4me ~

As a person who has been blessed with lifelong good health, not counting my AN, of course, I always thought hypochondriacs were very odd.  What a sad way to receive attention! 

Apparently your sister finds rewards in exaggerating her minor illnesses.  That she is apparently jealous of your brain surgery (what would she call it?) is pathetic.  I wouldn't be seeking out this sibling very often if this the kind of neurosis she brings with her.  You don't need this and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. 

Jim
 

[Lilan]

I must admit I call it "brain surgery" in some settings and "my ear procedure" in others, depending on my desired impact on the listener. A girl's got to have some fun.

[DLM4me]

Well, I directed her to AN's "what is an acoustic neuroma" page, specifically this part:

An acoustic neuroma (sometimes termed a vestibular schwannoma or neurolemmoma) is a benign (non-cancerous) growth that arises on the eighth cranial nerve leading from the brain to the inner ear. This nerve has two distinct parts, one part associated with transmitting sound and the other with sending balance information to the brain from the inner ear.

It's truly astonishing that she's so jealous--because I'm not only sick now, but have a LONG, DOCUMENTED history of serious health problems--she has to resort to nonsense like this.

Oh, she's also telling people that I *CHOSE* the most difficult type of surgery!  Never mind that--for *MY* tumor--retrosigmoid was never an option and translab would've sacrificed my hearing.  Considering I had good vocal recognition prior to surgery, middle fossa was the most logical--and best--choice. But she knows more than the doctors! 

[texsooner]

DLM4me,

I don't know the relationship with your sister, but it sounds like she needs the attention and her way of getting it is by playing the victim with medical issues. I agree with Jim, her seemingly being jealous of your brain surgery is pretty pathetic.

I've found that people that have to talk about themselves all the time like that and have to one-up everybody are not worth your attention and worry.....certainly not to the point that it affects your own blood pressure and/or pulse.

I did not have near as many issues as you've had after the brain surgery(sorry sis) but I can empathize with you on the eye issues...I had that for quite awhile and I'm very thankful that it has improved over the last few months. I'll pray that everything starts to get better with your issues soon.

Patrick

[DLM4me]

When I can see again I'm going to send her some more links, like this from the National Institutes of Health:

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000778.htm

Causes:

Acoustic neuromas are relatively uncommon, but they are one of the most common types of BRAIN TUMORS.

The tumor is usually found at the base of the brain.



Possible Complications:

    * BRAIN SURGERY can completely remove the tumor in most cases

[Kaybo]

Truly amazing...I would LOVE for someone to look at me & tell me I didn't have brain surgery!!   

K

[cin605]

OMG!My siter did the same thing 3 weeks post -op she calls me & wants to argue weather it was brain surgery or not!HELLooo
to even mess w/ me when i was on those steroids w/ 32 stitches in my head...I ended up up saying you know what???I gotta go!
i then e-mailed her an entire articlle on AN being brain surgery.
She called my mom after & my mother told her to call back n apologize.She said she was mad at my niece & felt like picking a bone w/ some one.Wrong person to pick a bone w/!

[DLM4me]

Hell will freeze over before I hear an apology from my sister.  Not. Going. To. Happen.

I've always known that she's bothered by the FACT that I've been plagued by real health problems--big ones, life-threatening ones, life-altering surgeries, multiple hospitalizations, etc.--while she moans and groans about every LITTLE, TRIVIAL problem.  But, honestly, she has reached SUCH a new low with this...

[Cheryl R]

Does she have some kind of mental conditon?        Almost sounds like it.         I said something to my surgeon about brain surgery and he answered back that it isn't brain surgery.         5 or 6 sentences later he called it brain surgery!                 To me it is.
  Just try and not even think about her response and know what  you have had done and life is not easy now but will get better in time.       It is very hard past surgery not to be emotional about what we have been thru.     Go ahead and have a good cry each day as needed.  I did my share and wasn't even sure what for.         Happy to be alive, sad over having to go thru what we go thru. 
Sounds like the sister is manipulative and any  response she thinks she can try for!                            Hang out with us and we will be what help we can!                Be good to yourself!         
                                                                     Cheryl R

[CHD63]

All I can add is WOW!!!!  It sounds like you and your sister probably go back many years with conflicts ..... this was the ultimate wound, however.

Although technically acoustic neuromas are not within the cerebellum, removal of them certainly qualifies as brain surgery, given they are skull-based tumors.  I consider both my AN surgery and my microvascular decompression surgery (relief of pressure at the brainstem) brain surgeries.  Makes you almost want to say to her "Would you like to have a hole drilled in your skull and not consider it brain surgery???"

I agree that you should distance yourself from these caustic putdowns ..... you know what you had ..... she is the one who is psychologically miserable ..... I would not contribute to any further conversations on health issue topics.

Hang in there and come here to vent!!

Clarice

[DLM4me]

It truly is pathetic, isn't it?  I honestly can't imagine being so jealous that instead of focusing on the profound nature of the surgery, and its complications and aftermath, she's actually grasping at straws to minimize it by telling people it wasn't brain surgery.

Here are a couple other links I've found in case anyone's interested in what some of the preeminent medical organizations have to say about it:

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/risk/brain-tumor-study (National Cancer Institute)

Types of Brain Tumors

Schwannomas are benign tumors that develop in Schwann cells. Schwann
cells produce the myelin that covers and protects the peripheral or
cranial nerve fibers connected with the brain.

Acoustic neuromas are a type of schwannoma that occurs in the nerve
between the brain and the ear. They occur primarily in adults.

Among adults, the most frequent types of brain tumors are glioblastoma
and other astrocytic tumors, meningiomas, acoustic neuromas, and
pituitary gland tumors. Less common types include oligodendroglioma,
ependymoma, lymphomas, vascular tumors, and tumors of the pineal gland.


http://www.csmc.edu/5189.html (Cedars-Sinai)

Acoustic Neuroma

An acoustic neuroma is a benign (noncancerous) brain tumor that starts
in the cells that wrap around the auditory (hearing) nerve in the head.
These tumors may grow on one or both sides of the brain. Acoustic
neuromas account for about seven percent of all brain tumors.

[Lilan]

As I'm sure you know, you're never going to win an arms race with someone like that, so I wouldn't waste your now-very-valuable healing energy on arguing semantics with her. People just are what they are!

[DLM4me]

I know.  My sister thinks she knows everything.  However, I'm going to send her several printouts from sites like the US National Library of Medicine, the National Institutes of Health, UCLA, the National Cancer Institute, Cedars-Sinai and, of course, our very own House Ear Clinic, that state in black and white that acoustic neuromas are BRAIN TUMORS and require BRAIN SURGERY to remove.  I've written a letter to include with those printouts.  In it, I suggest that she come with me to see Dr Brackmann so she can inform him that *HE* is wrong when he says he did brain surgery on me.  I can't wait to see her response!

[Kate B]

I saw Dr Stefan (the internist) yesterday.  We've been trying for weeks--since before surgery--to get my BP and pulse down, but it's not working.  He has added two new meds to what I normally take. We're hoping this works because with my BP and pulse as high as they are now we're looking at a potential stroke, brain swelling, etc.

Oh, speaking of high BP and pulse: Last night my sister informed me that I did NOT have brain surgery! 

DLM,

What strength you have had to have with other medical issues complicating matters.  Yes, for myself even without other health issues, I remember sleeping and being tired.  It is pretty typical to be exhausted just one month out. The fact is that brain surgery does that. 

IMHO, regarding your sister, she has a pattern of behavior that you are not going to change.  You do not have to DEFEND your surgery or type of surgery to her.  Break the pattern and don't involve her in "one upsmanship".   She is a difficult person because she thinks differently than you. 

Your energy is needed for your recuperation. Try not to let her interfere with that.  Your focus needs to be solely on you right now.

All the best.
Kate

[DLM4me]

The problem...well, PART of the problem!...with my sister is that she's actually telling everybody in our family these nonsensical lies. Of course *I* understand why she's doing it, i.e., she's basically having a hissy fit because I'm sick and she isn't (just how pathetic IS that, anyway?).  But certain relatives think everything she says is gospel and they're believing it.  I feel compelled to not only correct them but to put her in her place, and what better way to do that than to CHALLENGE her to come with me to tell Dr Brackmann that HE is wrong?!  Can you imagine anyone STUPID, self-centered and egotistical enough to tell *THE* preeminent surgeon for this type of brain surgery that it ISN'T brain surgery?