Adjusting to loss of hearing

[chopper]

Hey everyone!  Well, like a lot of us in this situation, my days are pretty much numbered for being able to hear from both ears.

I've been searching on here and can't find much in regards to how people's adjustment to loosing hearing went.  Not being able to communicate effectively almost scares me more than the tumor itself.  I'm 29 and the thought of 50 or so years on single sided hearing is a little daunting to say the least. 

With that, would ya'll mind sharing a little on how it went getting used to only hearing from one side?  Was it difficult?  Frustrating?  Not so bad really?  Is it damn near impossible to hear in a noisy environment (ie, club, bar, etc)?

[FlyersFan68]

I work in a small office with only two others but if I worked in a much bigger wide open office I can see having greater difficulty. I started losing my hearing little by little so I was getting used to the deafness even before surgery. I'm not comfortable in surroundings where there are a lot of people but I wouldn't say it's impossible. I get closer to the speaker or I position myself accordingly. I make periodic adjustments that is becoming second nature at this point. It only bothers me most when I keep dwelling. There are times I remind people that I'm deaf on that side "can you say that again" Fortunately, I enjoy music the same and keep it at nice soft levels. I guess it's been a while since I heard music in stereo so I wouldn't know the difference anymore anyway. Soon as I hear loud noises I cover my good ear immediately. I'm taking good care of that one!

[Boppie]

I am 11 weeks past surgery...
Well, as for hearing in a noisy club that remains the same after you lose one ear.  You've already experienced that part, so the adjustment will be the same frustration.  In the very beginning of your recovery you might find noisy situations irritating or painful, but in time and after a few exposures you begin to adjust. I've never felt pain in my ear from noises, just sensitivity.

I vacillate between wanting a bone anchored hearing device (BAHA) and not needing one.   Yes, at first I grieved for the loss of an old bad ear, (albeit the word recognition was poor I could still hear mumbling); but grieving is a natural part of recovery.  I know I could get some hearing assistance for the AN side but for now I am happy enough to have many years ahead of me to enjoy the birds, and music, and voices, and music, and yes, parties and dinner out. I will never regret ridding myself of the threat from the AN.  Have patience and use your recovery time with care; adjusting is possible. 

The worst time?  Shopping in the grocery store gets a little frustrating when the goofy loud speaker goes off, but I've disliked those announcements since the 70's.

If I were your age, I'd make plans to get a BAHA implant.  You have a long lifetime ahead of you and the bone anchored aids keep improving.  They are wonderful! 

[matti]

Hi Chopper - I am going on almost 8 years with Single sided deafness. My hearing was perfect before surgery. Somedays are more difficult than others, depends on the situation you are in. I find that I do have to work alot harder in social situations. Small groups are good. I am really up front about my hearing impairment. Initially I was hesitant about asking others to repeat themselves or asking the hostess  in a restraunt to please place me at a certain table, but I got over that very quickly. Bad ear against the wall. When I do go out with a group, I tell all that I need to sit in a certain spot to enjoy the conversation. I also try to find restraunts that do not have loud back ground music.

Sound direction is challenging, as with me, everything in life seems to happen on my right LOL!  I agree with Boppie about grocery shopping.

You will probably find that you have to keep reminding those around you, who are fully aware that you are deaf, to please walk or sit on your good side. Like I said at almost 8 years, and I still have to remind my husband, kids and friends that I can't hear on that side.

my good ear is alot more sensitive to sounds and I actually have to turn down the volume on the tv alot.

I keep going back and forth regarding the BAHA. I did take home the test band and while laying on my good ear, I could hear my husband talking to me. It was an awesome moment. I did read another thread regarding the new digital BAHA, that sounds exciting.

To answer your question about a noisy environment...it can be difficult. Remember the key phrase - It's alot about placement!

Take care
matti

[Battyp]

I'm 6 mos post op and lost the hearing in my left ear completely after surgery.  I avoid loud places like bars.  I get mad at people talking during a movie as I miss so much.  I at first tried to hide I couldn't hear with a lot of shaking my head and smiling.  Now I speak up and tell people you're talking into my bad ear.  I dont' like the only hearing on one side and not being able to tell where noises are coming from.  I'm hoping that will get better with time.  I had a waitress come up from behind on my left side (the side they typically serve on) and scared the heck out of her when I jumped 6 feet in the air as  I didn't hear her until she was putting food in front of me.  I've learned to let the waiter know if need be..again positioning helps.  Grocery stores are def. a challenge with all the noise it's just one big jumble of noise.  It amazes me how many people mumble when they talk and I have to ask them to repeat them self just for them to do it again.  I like a more calm environment which is why going back into the classroom for me is a bad thought  lol

[Pembo]

I'm 21 months post op. There were some things about SSD that were easy to adjust to and others I had a hard time dealing with. I have 3 children and my an was on the right. When we were in the car I couldn't carry on a conversation with them. That really bothered me. Also large groups were hard. My boys are in scouts and the pack meeting is always in the gym. I never knew what was going on. I also had a difficult time following group conversations even in my own living room.  And movies, I cried at Phantom of the Opera when my husband said "Wasnt' that beautifuL?" Honestly I missed most of what was going on.

I use the past tense because I got a Baha. I had the implant surgery 15 mo after my an surgery. I got my divino in Dec. I can talk to my kids while driving, I can hear at the scout meetings, I can participate in group conversations and going to the movies is pleasurable again.

The Baha isn't perfect but for me it has made me closer to normal again. I'm only 37 and I thought after an surgery I would never have surgery again. But the Baha was worth it!

[wanderer]

No real adjustment necessary in my case,  I had perfect hearing until about a month before surgery.   Although I had trouble in conversations and stuff, immediately before and after surgery,   It really wasn't that big of a deal for me,

Although it is sometimes annoying that I have to ask people to repeat themselves.

[matti]

Chopper - I forgot to mention in my earlier post that there are also benefits to SSD.

If you should happen to sleep next to someone that snores, good ear to the pillow and all is quiet. (SSD saved my marriage LOL )

You now have the ability and an excuse to tune out those you so wish.

that's just a couple, there's more...

matti

[Kathleen_Mc]

Chopper: Over the past 15 years there has been times of great frustration over ssd for me, there was a time I got the bicros hearing aid but then it went on the fritz and never replaced it. At times I don't find it an issue and at others I am frustrated. I used to love going out parting, now that is different as I either go out to drink and dance or I don't go, I can't chat in dance halls and that is frustrating (becoming less of a problem now that they are all non-smoking and I can chat with folk while we're outside for a smoke). That is the main frustration, I function very well as a nurse and my hearing hardly interfers with my professional abilities, it took a while to get my co-workers "trained" but for the most part it wasn't an issue. My children are well trained to whisper only in the good ear, my hearing was lost before they were born, and my family all acept that if they yell for me in the house I may not hear and they need to look for me. Kathleen

[wanderer]

I am surprised you smoke,   smoking is very bad for the ears.

[Battyp]

uh oh then I better quit driving during the day time too!  Because I'm thinking smoke coming out of the ears would be very very bad!

[Captain Deb]

Yes it is darn near impossible to hear in a club or a bar unless you get really close to the person you are trying to talk to.  Which is a great excuse to get closer! When I'm in a crowd I just put my hands on their shoulders and cuddle up and explain that I only have one ear. May it'll help you meet girls!

No offense, but keeping a sense of humor is essential to get thru all this stuff.  For a while I painted a red "NO" sign (circle with a slash) on my earlobe with felt tip pen. I wanted to get a little gold "NO" as an earring and wear it there, but I'm too fashion conscious and my ears need to match.

SSD is not the end of the world.  At the three year mark, my directional hearing is a LOT better.  I do miss my stereophic hearing when I'm listening to music.  I also play the flute and don't do too much of that anymore because I tend to avoid some of the places where I used to sit in with friends.

Good Luck
Captain Deb

[thecakes]

   Loss of hearing in one ear puts a damper on your social life big time.  I smile alot, shake my head yes.  I just hope I'm agreeing to the right thing and not something stupid.  Never do I know where sounds are coming from.  I was standing outside of the grade school the other day and the teacher from across the lawn yelled at me and I looked all around me and I could'nt figure out where her voice was coming from.  It was embarressing around the kids.  I feel like I'm always left out.  Maybe I can use this to my advantage, to block out the things I don't care to hear.   Selective hearing?

[Gennysmom]

I'm pre-op, but have 16% hearing in my right ear.  I'm lucky enough (?) to have lost it gradually, and honestly, I'm not so sure I'd take my hearing back.  I sleep through my boyfriend snoring and other sounds (oops, the alarm clock sometimes!), and have adapted very well.  The audiologist even recommended against using a cros, as I have compensated so well.  It will take time, but in a weird way it does have it's advantages.  You'll learn to position yourself to the best source of hearing groups and eventually won't even notice that you're doing it for that.  It just takes time.

[chopper]

Awesome, thank you all for the responses.  Most reassuring overall.   Have been looking into the BAHA device....it's just a little too big for me at the moment though.

Maybe in another 10 years...