Brenda ~
I understand your husband's feeling of abandoning his father(s) when he's needed, even when it isn't deliberate and can't be avoided. My father died 7 years ago, at age 91, in a nursing home in Florida, 1000 miles from me, where he had moved decades earlier. My mother died 31 years ago, in a hospital in Manhattan, 90 miles away. She'd suffered a stroke. I lived in Connecticut (still do) and had visited her in the hospital but couldn't get extended time off to stay with her. I had a family to support and couldn't risk losing my job. A second stroke was the cause of her death. Tough situation - and I felt bad in each instance, especially with my mother. Fortunately, my younger sister lived in Manhattan and was able to visit our mother frequently. She was the one who called me with the news of her passing.
My philosophy, based on my Christian beliefs, is that God has a plan for our lives and that includes our death, which is guaranteed - because we're mortal beings. Put succinctly: when it's a person's time to leave this earth, there isn't much anyone can do about it. However, those of us who love another, be it spouse, parent, child, sibling or friend, still feel the anguish of the permanent separation that death brings for those of us still living. I believe that God hears prayer and that even aged people with serious medical problems can be spared, for a time. On that basis, I'm pleased to offer prayer for your husband's father and step-father, that they may live. I 'll also pray that your husband can be allowed to visit them (at least one) and also that he can find solace in the fact that God knows his heart and that he would be there (with them) if he could. Prayers for you too, Brenda, for strength and the ability to support your husband during this trying time as you deal with your own (physical) issues.
Jim
