Pat ~
As you see from reading the previous posts, we do understand - but often, friends, family and co-workers don't. I guess I'm fortunate because I always thought that my family understood and most of the people I cared about did, too. They 'got' the fact that what I had was serious. No, it wasn't malignant but it could conceivable kill me if not addressed (my AN was 4.5 cm). Beyond that, I never cared much what acquaintances thought. I had the surgery and did well. Later, as planned, I underwent 26 radiation treatments and did well with those, too. I never looked for a lot of sympathy or understanding because I never wanted to appear 'needy' and to be honest, my wife and son and a few close relatives gave me all the support I felt I needed. But that's me. I'm somewhat independent and don't really expect others to understand my AN-related problems, which, to be honest, were few.
I've found that just about everyone you'll ever know has something they're dealing with, especially as we age. I get that reality and so, while I welcome understanding and support from others, I don't really seek it out or have high expectations of receiving more than a "how are you?" from friends, to which I usually reply "Fine. Thanks for asking". My friends deal with their own physical problems including back pain, high blood pressure, diabetes and other ailments. I have none of these. So, I don't expect them to really understand my SSD or that annoying but basically inconsequential little 'numb' spot on the side of my tongue or the fact that my balance isn't quite what it used to be, etc, etc. I'm doing well and feel blessed. I don't require others complete understanding of my specific physical deficits and the issues that they can bring, such as trying to hear in a noisy environment.
My point is that sometimes, we just have to lower our expectations of others 'understanding'. Our AN is invisible to them and our symptoms are not that obvious, either, especially hearing loss. They likely have their own problems they're dealing with, as most people do. I respect that and don't make others understanding my AN-related problems an 'issue'. Life is too short to get stressed by how other people react to us. We can't control others actions and I refuse to be dismayed by them. This may or may not be relevant for you but it's my opinion based on my experience. I offer it in the hope it will help in some way, even if that means lowering your expectations of others 'understanding' of your AN issues.
Jim
