After Hospitalization - Can Stay Alone?

[iluuvpups]

Hi.  I am probably going to have translab surgery on my AN.  After getting out of the hospital, will I be able to care for myself?  I live alone and want to know if I need to hire help post hospitalization.  Thanks for any experiences you can share on this.  --Carol Ann

[painter]

Carol Ann,
Reading your post made me stop and re-examine my experience after surgery, and I can't imagine what it would have been like without my wife as a caregiver.  You are truly courageous to have made this decision on your own, and even more brave to be determined to go through it alone. I understand the alternative of no surgery is not an option, but if you have relatives or friends who might consider staying with you for a couple of weeks it would really help.  The problem is everyone seems to recover at their own pace so it's difficult to say what you'll have to go through.  But it would be a whole lot easier with someone there.  If that isn't an option, it would be my suggestion to hire some help.  Getting to the store and preparing meals isn't something I could have done, but we were so blessed to have friends who brought lots of dinners to us.  Even if that could be arranged ahead of time it would be of tremendous value. 

But whatever you do, keep checking this site out and ask all the questions you need.  All our hearts will go out to you, we'll be anxious to offer whatever help we can. Support is something you need, and you can get it here.   It's important to stay positive, that effort alone helped me a lot.  Best of luck to you, please keep us posted.  Have you scheduled your surgery yet? 
Tom

[nancyann]

Hi Carol Ann:  I live alone also & have always been fiercely independent,  but l needed my wonderful mom to stay with me for 2 weeks.  I was sooo tired, felt like a mack truck had hit me !  Mom did the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, etc.  She would walk with me from day 1 home.  After the 1st week I started doing laundry, little by little tackling other household duties & was able to drive after being home for 2 weeks (I really pushed myself with that one !).  Just having someone there to watch over me made all the difference.
Best wishes with your surgery,  always good thoughts,  Nancy

[epc1970]

Hi Carol Ann
Like Nancy Ann, I live alone and am super independent but I needed to stay at my parents house for 2 weeks or so after surgery. They did everything for me (thank you!) until I had my bearings back and was comfortable enough to stay and manage things at home by myself. Just doing the basics in life are tough and exhausting in those first few weeks. Any help that you can arrange will be a bonus and helpful for you. Your priority in the initial post op time needs to be rest,rest,rest and not things like cooking,laundry etc. Good luck with your surgery! Keep us posted on how you are you doing!
Erin

[lawmama]

I will begin this by saying I had a very fast recovery, but I didn't need help at home.  My mother was with me the first day I came home, but everyone had to return to work, so I was alone during the day from day 2 at home and beyond.  I was fine. 

I'm sure this is like anything else and just depends on your own recovery.  I am pretty young (31), otherwise healthy, and I've always bounced back fast after injuries and other health-related things, so this was in the "norm" for me.  I would caution you to have a backup plan.  You won't really know how your own recovery will go until after your surgery and this IS major surgery.  Can you plan to have after care for a week with the option to continue it longer if needed? 

Lyn

[Denise S]

Lyn, for starters, was your kids home too?   How about husband?  I just can't imagine being alone that fast and having kids there,  If so, you deserve a bazillion A+'s and stars from me 

Carol Ann, why are you thinking translab?  Have you already lost most of your hearing???  Based on your size of tumor, they may give you an option of Middle Fossa OR Retrosigmoid to "Try" to preserve your hearing.   Seems like if hearing is GOOD and the tumor is smaller than 2cm, there may still be a ''chance'' to preserve.       

NOT trying to get hopes up because many us us with even good hearing and smaller tumors were lucky enough to have hearing preserved.   Don't know that I've seen anyone with tumors over 2cm have their hearing preserves, but the doctors know the most also based on your MRI's.       SO, like I said, just cursious.    Sure you will get plenty info in the next  2 weeks if you keep both dr. appt.'s you have. 

As for staying home alone, I'd make plans for someone to be there or check in on you or a phone call away with quick response.    Advise this mostly because EVERYONES situation is SO VERY different.   


Wishing you the best!   Be sure to update us on the appointments!
Denise

[iluuvpups]

Thanks everyone for your responses.  I did find a cousin of mine willing to let me stay at her house, but she's not home most of the day.  She has a housekeeper that is 'around', but not necessarily at my beck and call.  I'm hoping this will be enough help.

As to why translab, they say I have lost too much hearing in the affected ear.  I would prefer to preserve the little hearing I do have left, but the doctors may not agree.  I have two other doctor appts coming up over the next 10 days and another audiology exam.  We'll see what the results are.

[Syl]

I stayed with my sister for 2 weeks after my surgery. It was summer & her 3 teenagers were on vacation. My sister was able to keep her normal work schedule while the girls helped me out during the day. I didn't do much of anything, but it sure was nice having people around in case of an emergency. What if I fell & hurt myself? I had a driver to take me to my follow-up w/ the dr. Most important is that I didn't have to cook.

You can stock up on food before your surgery & even cook plenty ahead of time. All you will have to do is nuke it. Even that was done for me. Something so simple as placing food in the microwave oven involves moving around the kitchen & turning or spinning around. The turning is what was hard for me the first couple of days. Bending over to pick up anything--a shoe or sock--was also difficult.

If I had to do this alone, I probably would have gone the cyber/gamma route.

Syl

[Kaybo]

Carol Ann~
I would think that being basically "alone" during the day (with someone for emergencies - which hopefully won't arise) and then someone else there at night.  I bet that even Lyn would agree that she was not completely alone 24/7 like you would be if you went to your own home by yourself.  Take whatever you can get - every surgery/recovery is SOOOOO different.  Besides, you deserve it, it is not every day that you have BRAIN SURGERY!! 

K   

[lawmama]

Lyn, for starters, was your kids home too?   How about husband?  I just can't imagine being alone that fast and having kids there,  If so, you deserve a bazillion A+'s and stars from me 

Denise, no way!!  No kids.  My sister would stop by in the morning on her way to work and take my kids to school/daycare.  I just slept during the day, but I was home alone.  Then, the next week was Christmas so once the kids were at home my husband was off from work.  I wasn't able to handle the kids alone for about two weeks or so.  Even then I would just see to their basic needs and then crawl back into bed. 

And yes, I agree with everyone that you should not be alone 24/7 for a while. I just meant that you might not need constant care for the entire 6-8 weeks of "recovery."  After a week or two, you would probably be fine with someone stopping by and checking on you, shopping for you, etc.  Like I said in my first post, I think you should at minimum plan for after care for the week after your surgery and then have an option to continue it if you need more.  Don't plan on coming home to an empty house because you won't be able to do much for a while.

Lyn

[leapyrtwins]

Carol Ann -

you should have someone with you post op if nothing else because of the restrictions you will have - no bending at the waist, no lifting heavy objects, etc. 

I live alone - except for my two kids who were 11 at the time of my surgery.  My mom moved in with us for about 6 weeks which was a Godsend.  Although she spent a good deal of her time chauffeuring the kids - and me - around, making meals, doing laundry, etc. - we couldn't have survived without her. 

You'll spend a lot of time sleeping, so if you can't have someone staying with 24/7, at least have someone available by phone who lives close by in case you need them.

Don't hesitate to ask others - friends, co-workers, neighbors - for help.  Although that's often hard to do - it was for me - most people will be more than willing to assist you if you only ask.

Jan

[cin605]

I had my sis for 2 days and my mom for 3.....basically they just kept me from doing too much....like racing up n down the stairs..
they would stand in front of me to slow me down....i had a terrible "need for speed" directly after sugery....i had to do everything really fast .......my sister was actually running to keep up w/ me when i went to appointments....i thought the faster i went the better my balance would be and it seemed so,when i went to vestub rehab my therapist said"now,slow down and walk and it wasn't pretty...i tended to weeble side to side....

[Nickittynic]

Just as another example of "it all depends" - I stayed with my parents for 3 weeks post discharge (was in the hospital 1 week) while my husband kept our kids. Still, it was another 2ish weeks at home (so 6 weeks post op) before I could do most things, but they kept me on "24 hour supervision" for that first month.

[salamander]

Be sure to have someone help you keep track of when you are taking your pain medication when at home right after surgery.  Make sure that you write it down.  Even with myself and my parents writing it, we got confused at times.  Your mind will still be rather foggy for a while when returning home.  I remember wanting a pain pill and trying to calculate when I last had one and it was rather comical at times. 

I needed live-in help for about two weeks after surgery and then had someone stop by daily as needed.

Samantha

[epc1970]

Samantha!
I forgot about needing someone to help keep track or when and what I had already taken with the med-great point! I too forgot frequently and thankfully  had my mom to hand me my pills on schedule-I don't know how she manged to keep it all straight but being a nurse probably helped!
Erin