Talk to me about your tarsorrhaphy

[Nickittynic]

Hey all,

I've been largely gone from the forums for awhile, but some new post-op developments are bringing me back.

The shortish version of the story is this:
Two weeks ago I was at work at my eye (the 'bad one', my left eye) started to really bother me. I checked it out the mirror and it was really red and irritated and I saw this little 'crater', for lack of a better word, in my cornea. I called my eye doctor in the morning and he saw me within a couple hours. He said that I had a dellen in my cornea (the 'crater' I saw). This is the first time I've had anything more than some dryness when he checks my cornea - he's been overall really pleased with how well my eye has been maintained. I have a gold weight in my eye lid and a lower punctal plug in my lower tear duct. That morning, the doctor referred me to another specialist and put a plug in my upper tear duct, too.
When I went to the specialist they said the dellen wasn't there (I guess it resolved?) but that I had some SPKs along the 1mm where my eye still doesn't close all the way. They said my doctor wanted them to do a lateral tarsorrhaphy and asked "why do you think about that?" I said if they thought it would be of benefit to my eye I'd do it, and my appointment is scheduled for one week from now.

Now, however, I'm having some second thoughts.
First I made the mistake of doing an 'image search' for tarsorrhaphy and saw of course all the worst-case-scenarios that I know don't apply to me but are still gross and scary anyway. (But I should mention that a lot of ANA member's user pics were also in there, which was actually really comforting to see some familiar faces!)
Also, I'll admit I'm worried about the cosmetic outcome. With the weight, my left eye is already the same size or a little smaller than the right. The specialist said he'd only be doing a very small lateral tarsorrhaphy, but I wonder if it's going to make my 'messed up' face look even more 'messed up'.
And then, I really haven't read any patient experiences on it. I wasn't overly fond of the gold weight procedure, even though it was minor, so I'm kind of afraid of another 'awake' eye procedure. The doctor asked if I had any problems with people doing something to my eye while awake and I was like "Oh, no, I'm fine!" but now I wonder if that was the right response. Maybe I should call and try to get a one time valium before hand or something?
Then lastly, I'm kind of wondering if this isn't doing too much too soon. This is the first time there's been anything 'wrong' with my cornea in the year post op, and I think the extra drops and ointment I've been doing has helped so far. Any non-doctor opinions on going conservative vs going ahead for the stitches? Of course I do plan on emailing my doc about it tonight.

I posted in more detail on my blog, if anyone wants the more full version.

Thanks!

[Meagan]

I have had the tarsorrhapy or however you spell it for 3 years now.....it does look a bit funny but protects the eye.  My hope is that it will eventually come out but i have had 2 cornea abrasions so even though i am 29 am trying not to be so vain....i figure i already don't look perfect so whats a little more   It isn't that bad and most people tell me they don't even notice it so i think we are harder on ourselves and people are so consumed with other things they don't notice us:)  so i say go for it!!!!  You don't want to lose your vision and it is so reversable so it isn't forever.

Good luck

Meagan

[Jeanlea]

Wish I would have seen this earlier.  It's a week later.  Did you get the tarsorapphy?  I've had one for four and a half years now.  It was so minimal that it really isn't noticeable. 

Jean

[lori67]

I'm sorry I'm just seeing this too! 

I had this done about 3 months after my AN surgery.  I also had my tear ducts cauterized at the same time.  I'm glad I had it done.  I was in constant pain from constantly damaging my cornea and from my eye being so dry.  I looked at the awful pictures on line before I had mine done too, and I was scared to death!  I'm happy to say, you can barely notice mine.  I notice it and the eye doctor notices it, but no one else does.  I had mine done by an oculoplastic surgeon, so he was as much concerned with the cosmetic outcome as I was.

My opinion is that it's not too much too soon.  In my experience, it seems that these things seem to snowball - once they start, they just seem to keep getting progressively worse, so better to be proactive.  it's cut down on the amount of drops I use during the day, which helps to keep my vision less foggy.

As far as being awake - ugh!  No way!  I was out cold and I wouldn't have it any other way.  I am a big chicken when it comes to anything with my eyes, so even just going to the regular eye doctor for an eye exam is traumatic for me.  But if you have already had the eye weight done while awake, you are obviously much more brave than I am!

Let us know what you decided and how it went.

Lori

[briansmome]

I'm probably for the proactive position. I had a small one done initially and turns out it wasn't enough. Dryness continued, infection set in and I ended up having a corneal transplant. Eye doc did a more extensive t-thingie and closed it up more; things much better after that. Will tell you, though, that the small one didn't change things a whole lot for me from a cosmetic standpoint. That may sound crazy, but it's true. With the small one, there was just a bit of 'imbalance' between my eyes.

[Nickittynic]

Thanks all!
I decided to go ahead with it and my appointment is for this afternoon at 4. I'll admit I'm still pretty scared! But I figure I might as well do it now while I know I'm with good docs and good insurance. I don't know where in the country we'll be in the next two to five years and I bet it would be even more stressful to find a new group of specialists to trust!

I hope it's not as painful as the gold weight. I've already got a brain wreck going on the last two days.

I'll let you all know how it goes!

[nancyann]

Just thinking about you & hoping all went well.  Keep up posted.   Always good thoughts,  Nancy

[Nickittynic]

Well it looks and feels pretty terrible right now. I'm hoping all will be better with time, especially after they remove the stitches and padding thingies on December 1st. As of this morning, though, I told my husband I made a bad decision and would rather have lost my vision. 

[lori67]

No, no, no...don't get discouraged!  I looked like a prize fighter after my surgery and thought I'd done a really dumb thing, but I don't regret it one bit!  Give yourself some time to heal.  I remember saying to my husband "if I ever consider plastic surgery, please remind me of this day".

I didn't have stitches or padded thingies.  I wonder what your doctor did differently.

Think positive - in a few days, you'll feel much better.

Lori

[epodjn]

Just saw this so I'm a bit late but I just wanted to send you some comforting words. It may look bad now but it will get much better. I've had mine for about 18 months and I don't notice it at all. Once the bruising, stitches  etc. are gone it's all good. Cosmetically, well, what can I say. Mine was a very large tarrsoraphy to save my vision. I'm glad I did it but it does look a little funny. I can't wear mascara because 1/3 of my eyelashes are sewn down to the lower lid. Not that i want to draw attention to it anyway. But. . . .my eye feels SO much better. I use much less eye goop, just a few drops during the day and lacralube at night. With the tarrsoraphy I can close my eye completely with effort. My eye was so wide open before that i would pop tape at night all the time and had a lot of problems. Now I never tape it at all. So nice!! That being said, now that I have regained some movement I'm thinking of a gold weight. I was not a candidate before because the doctor didn't think that even the heaviest weight would work.
well, I'll stop rarmbling. I hope you are doing better. Remember, lost of cold packs and down time for the first few days. It really helped.
Julie

[nancyann]

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time - but remember,  this IS temporary for you !  Looks like you got some good advice from others who've been through it.  Keep a peaceful heart my friend.
Always good thoughts,  Nancy

[Nickittynic]

Just wanted to update you all that things are going better on the tarsorrhaphy. I had the sitches out and now that some of the buising is gone as well it doesn't look terrible. You can tell my eyes don't match, but they're not soooo off. I call the left (sewn) one my "Renee Zelweger" eye, hehe. 

The whole thing has been pretty emotional, I think because facial/eye issues were improving steadily. This felt like two (giant) steps backward. But, I'm trying to keep my sense of humor about it, and look on the bright side of less eye drops used every day. (Yey for saving money!)

One interesting note - When I went last wednesday to have the stitches out, the dr asked how things felt, and I told him "everything was fine until three days ago. All of a sudden it started to feel like there's an eyelash in my eye. I've flushed it and flushed it and nothing's come out, I don't see anything there, but it hurts!" (I had just assumed when I didn't see an eyelash that this was just a 'foriegn body sensation' due to dry eye.) So the dr looked and said "oh, I see why, it's because there's an eyelash growing into your eye." ! I guess an eyelash started to grow on the part of the lid that's sewn together, and instead of growing outwards it started to grow inwards. I couldn't see it because it was under the stitched part!
Anyway, with a little bit of work and maneuvering it got it pulled out. Omg, talk about instant relief! I hope to never have an eyelash stuck in my eye for three days again. 

[Jim Scott]

Nicole ~

Thanks for the update on your tarsorrhaphy procedure.  I checked out your blog - your eye looks good!  I'm so glad to learn that things are gradually improving for you.   

Jim