Does having a tumor affect your personality?

[worrywart]

My bf has the tumor on his 7th nerve, and it is affecting his balance, face movement, headaches, ect. Is it possible for it to affect his personality? Or that his personality will change after the surgery? He just hasn't seemed himself the last few months and I'm not sure if it's getting worse or just finding out that he will probably need surgery is making him strange.

[CHD63]

I'm not sure having an AN changes one's personality per se.  However, it certainly does change most of our viewpoints on life.

Things that seemed so important to me before the AN, now seem so inconsequential.  I have reevaluated many aspects of my life because of it.

But ...... he is probably also just very preoccupied right now.  The unspoken worry can be incredible, depending upon one's personality.  He needs much support and reassurance right now to get him through the next few weeks or months.

Many prayers for you also, as you deal with his changing needs.

Clarice

[james e]

Not so sure it changes personality, but it does cause some types of changes. As I began to lose my hearing, I missed out on lots of things people were talking about. My wife began to think I was ignoring her with some selective hearing, and I think it made her frustrated. I just kept telling her I could not hear her, and then I started getting frustrated. As my hearing got worse, I spent a lot of energy trying to hear conversations a little better. I'm not sure how to  explain this, but it would be similar to a person that removes their glasses, and then tries to read the paper...you keep squinting your eyes trying to read, and it takes some real effort to do this. It makes you tired.

Age might be the difference. I am 62, and my body is beginning to slowly fall apart...and I accept these changes as just part of getting older...my hair is gray, I wear glasses, had a stroke, heart surgery so I won't have another stroke, cataract surgery, AN surgery...and I am not frustrated by any of this. It is just part of getting older. However, if I was 22 or 32 or 42, I might be totally shocked that something like a brain tumor happened to me, I might get depressed. Lose my hearing, lose my balance, and my face won't work...this is happening to me???!!

This is a BIG deal. Get him to visit this site and communicate with some of us who hang out here. Lots of information here, lots of friends. This site can help him put this experience in its place.

James

[Jim Scott]

Hi, Worrywart ~

Your boyfriend is going through some very unpleasant changes in his body that negatively affect his quality of life.  In addition, he is facing possible AN surgery that is daunting for most folks.  All this at an age when he likely hasn't the life experience many of us on this forum have that helps us handle the AN diagnosis and AN symptoms.  So, with the caveat that I'm not a psychiatrist and of course, even if I were, I've never met your boyfriend and I'm just responding to your description of his behavior/demeanor, I would suggest that, as much as possible, you let him know that you will (emotionally) support him - that you're 'on his side'.  I'm sure he could use the encouragement.  Guys like to think we're tough and invincible, especially when we're young.  I did.  I suspect that your boyfriend feels that he's being diminished by this stupid little tumor in his skull that is messing him up.  I suggest that you subtly let him know that you don't see him as an object of pity ('poor baby') and that you still consider him as manly as ever.  This could be just what he needs, but it should be done without being too obvious or he might see it as pandering to him - and resent it, making things worse.  Frankly, the next few months could be tough for both of you.  If you really care about this young man, you'll need lots of patience.  If you're not that into him, you may not be up for it.  I have no idea - I'm just offering the reality of the situation as best I can, from a distance, as it were.  I truly hope things improve for you both.  I'm sure that once your boyfriend is through surgery, he'll be a lot happier - and appreciate you a lot more.

Jim   

[leapyrtwins]

No personality changes for me.

But it did make me appreciate things a whole lot more - and it made me realize how lucky I am.

My AN could have just as easily been something more serious (and life threatening). 

Jan

[Kathleen_Mc]

I am sure I have read in medical articles that indeed there can be psychological changes in the person with a AN, both due to physical issues  and psychological reasons
I myself, apparently, displayed personality changes prior to diagnosis and cause is up for debate.......psychological due to the tumor itself? effects of being on heavy pain killers and sleeping pills? or basically the change we all naturally go through as we enter young adulthood?
Now certainly during the 1 1/2? (I forget now) weeks I waited between diagnosis and surgery......yup definite personality changes..... hummmm ?stress reaction of finding out I really was sick (I had been treated as "psychosomatic" for years) .....? extreme fear of death (was given only 50% chance of getting off the OR table alive but impending death without surgery).....
natural reaction anyway.
Did I return to "myself" after surgery? Yes but it took sometime, I underwent Post Traumatic Stress and it took some time for me to return to "me", also the surgeon explained to me when someone has brain surgery the "chemicals" in the brain get all screwed up and they may or may not return to "normal", I suffered a chemically caused depression and it took a few years before I just accepted I need to take medication (that has never "rebalanced" and I remain on medication).
Hope this is helpful
Kathleen

[worrywart]

 Thank you, everyone. This has been rough for me and it is hard to be supportive of him, but I'm trying. He fights with me about everything, won't tell the Dr's the truth about how bad it is and it took a long screaming match to get him to go to the ER in the first place. He can't seem to remember anything anymore and his behaviour is just strange at times. I expect it would get worse after learning he has something so serious wrong with him, but this has been going on for months and he has thought it was just bells palsy. His Dr appt is this week so at least we should know what we are dealing with soon.

[CHD63]

Thoughts and prayers continue for both you and your boyfriend.  Praying that the doctor can shed some light on all of this so you both have answers and can make decisions on treatment.

Please let us know what the doctor says.  We are a concerned group of people here!

Clarice

[Ellen K]

It's possible that your bf is acting strangely because of the stress of the AN symptoms and his fear of treatment.  At the same time, it's also possible that something else could be going on in addition to the AN.  I speak from experience; I had a constellation of strange symptoms for several months.  When I finally got to a neurologist, I got the AN diagnosis, but another unrelated neurological diagnosis as well.  It sounds like the upcoming doctor visit will help rule out other neurological problems, which should be a relief.  You also might want to go with your bf to see a therapist to discuss some of these concerns, and see if he is clinically depressed or has other psychological problems, as well as deal with the affect of the AN diagnosis on your relationship.  It sounds like you could use some support as well as your boyfriend.  Hang in there! 

[Dee-dee]

I stopped going to parties, even dinner parties, because when there is background noise I can't understand anything people are saying even on my good ear.