Jan,
Your words are so inspiring! Please know in your heart and think with your mind that HE is all knowing and all powerful if you are on HIS side who in reality can do you harm? I, as all of us who are online are with you in prayer, you shall come through this! All the indecision has become part of your past. It's almost time to Let Go and Let God!
See you on the other side when you can post your post op experiences!
Ps. Te he, you have hit a mighty nerve with me!In that, I was from a little boy a huge toy train fan (I am now 55)!!! "I think I can, I think I can....."is from the Little Engine That Could, you might be mistaken there, it is not a rollercoaster but a steam powered locomotive that was approaching a hill. A wholly different story in that on the other side of the hill is traction again!
Keep up the good attitude, it will guide you far in life!
Mike