Well, I'm posting this 4 month update a few weeks past my actual anniversary date (Translab 4/27/12). I've been really busy and haven't had much time to post lately. After my trip to Cancun, with my daughter, I was invited to Yosemite by a close friend. His plan was to hike the trail up to Half Dome and then climb to the top using the cables. I didn't think twice about going and felt I was ready for the challenge. He didn't tell me it would be a 10 hour hike up and down that trail. So the morning of Sept 27th, three of us set out for the top of Half Dome. A few hours into the hike, I was feeling pretty strong and felt I would have no problem making it to the top. After a few stops, some snacks, and a lot of sweating, we finally made it to the cables (the near vertical granite portion of Half Dome).
For those who have never been, the cables are fixed into the side of Half Dome, which allows hikers to pull themselves up the side of the granite rock to the top of Half Dome. There's a lot of exposure and you aren't roped in. I've done a lot of multi pitch climbing when I was younger, so I didn't think I'd have an issue. Well...just as we were about to climb the cables, I had an overwhelming jolt of apprehension. For some reason, I talked myself out of finishing the climb. I began to doubt myself and was worried I'd have some balance issues half way up the cables. But I kept telling myself that I hadn't really experienced any balance issues the entire time since surgery. Still, I elected not to finish the climb and told my buddies they had to go without me. They saw that I was upset and didn't pressure me. So they started up the rock and I sat down really disappointed with myself.
As I sat there, I couldn't believe I gave up before even trying. I told so many people I was climbing Half Dome just prior to the trip. I planned on taking a photo and sharing it with my ANA friends. I really was disappointed. And then it hit me! Suddenly I had a boost of confidence and was determinded to not let my surgery scare me. I hiked that mountain to make it to the top and that's exactly what I set out to do. I had to prove to myself and others that I could do it. So I jumped up and put my back pack on and headed to the cables. I had my gloves on and was ready to make the ascent. And that's exactly what I did. I felt strong as I was going up and remained focused until reaching the top. I think I was more afraid of coming down once I got up there, but that went away once I saw the incredible view up there.
While on top of the mountain, I quickly searched for my buddies. They were sitting down taking a break when I walked up to them. They were both surprised to see me and had big smiles on their faces. We took several photos, relaxed in the sun, ate lunch and started back down the mountain. The entire trip, including an hour break on top, took us 10 hours. When we finally made it to the bottom, we were all tired but very happy to have made it. As I walked back to our camp site, I walked tall and was very proud to have accomplished the climb and make it to the top. I was even more proud to be an AN survivor and to have gotten through the surgery, recovery and now my forth month of post op.
I know each of us on this site will experience many of the same fears, pain, challenges, etc. as we battle this damn tumor. And each of us will, in more ways than one, accomplish many goals we set for ourselves after surgery. I remember taking those first steps in the hospital and wondering if I was going to fall flat on my face. Those headaches lasted way too long and I was worried I'd never get rid of them. But they subsided. I had to flatten my sandwiches for three months because my mouth hurt too much when I tried to eat. I got so tired of eating food that tasted like metal and now it all tastes like salt. Yuck!
Each day that I wake up, I think about the wonderful doctors and medical staff who were responsible for my well being and an amazing recovery. My hike up Half Dome was in many ways my way of telling my body that I'm in control now and will do what I believe is possible! Making it to the top was just as amazing as that first step I took post op or the morning I woke up without a darn head ache. I hope that this story (sorry for the length) will help some of you who might be thinking you'll never feel normal after surgery. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You will get through this.
I'm going diving this weekend for the first time since my surgery
Wish me luck!
Take care everyone.
Davecz
