On Edge All The Time

[Catflower]

Since my AN surgery in April I find that I feel like I'm always "on edge".  I feel nervous and anxious most of the time and the smallest things make me angry.  Does anyone else feel like this?

[tuckerro]

I have experienced similar results.  I am a little too quick to fly off the handle at my better half or the kids.  Sometimes they have to just tell me to take a step back, and then I realize that i'm being a little much.

[nancyann]

Yes, yes, yes !!!    It comes & goes like waves.   I try to catch myself so I don't do/say anything that would get me in deep doodoo.
I totally understand.   Always good thoughts,  Nancy

[Jeanlea]

I've had similar problems.  It's like I have no patience.  The worst of it is directed to my family. I'm working on chilling.  It has gotten better over time.  I'm nearly two years post-op now.

Jean

[yardtick]

I feel the exact same way.  I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I hold everything together at work but I come home I'm brutal.

Anne Marie

P.S.  I don't cry much any more because I'm on happy pills

[Brendalu]

Wow.......we can start a club!  I take lamectal to help the moods.  I can direct the anger at anyone and everyone.  Never used to be like that.  Everyone runs for cover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  July 28th will be my two year milestone and I really thought that this would get better.  Anxiety attacks, panic attacks, you name it I have it.  Everytime I have another test run, I barely breathe until I get the results.  Not fun.
Brendalu

[BB]

WAS COURIOUS ABOUT CYMBALTA, IS IT AN ANTI DEPRESSANT?  I WONDER HOW MANY OF US ARE ON MEDICENE FOR  FOR DEPRESSION OR ANXIETY ATTACKS, PRE AND POST SURGERY.  JUST GETTING READY TO GO TO MY DOCTOR FOR ANXIETY PROBLEMS.  I WAS PUT ON XANEX FOR JUST ONE MONTH, UNTIL THE DOCTOR  TRIES TO FIND SOMETHING TO WORK FOR ME, THAT DOESN'T MAKE MY BALANCE PROBLEM ANY WORSE.  PRE SURGERY I DID NOT RESPOND TO SEVERAL OF THE DEPRESSION MEDICENES.  SORRY SO MANY MISTAKES. BAD COMPUTER DAY FOR ME.  EYE'S ARE NOT WORKING GREAT.  WISH WE HAD SPELL CHECK.  ANY HOPE?  BB

[BB]

THANKS BRUCE FOR THE INFO.  JUST TRYING TO GET INFORMATION TO TAKE INTO THE DOCTOR ON WHAT I  MIGHT TRY.  I KNOW EVERYONE HAS TALKED ABOUT DIFFERENT MED'S THEY HAVE USED, AND WAS GOING TO TALK TO THE DOCTOR ABOUT A VARITY OF MED'S TALKED ABOUT ON THE WEB SITE. I KNOW EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.  WHAT WORKS FOR ONE, MAY NOT WORK FOR ANOTHER.  SO MANY OF THEM CAUSED MY EYE PROBLEM TO BE WORSE.  HAS ANYONE STAYED ON XANEX FOR A WHILE?  LIFE AT HOME HAS BEEN VERY STRESSFULL, HOPE IT CALMS DOWN SOON, SO TEMPTED TO STAY ON WHAT I AM TAKING FOR A BIT LONGER AND MAYBE THINGS WILL CALM DOWN.  WOULD LIKE NOT TO TAKE ANYTHING, BUT SEEMS LIKE WITH ALL THE AN ISSUES AND LIFE PROBLEMS IT MIGHT BE HARD.  ANYWAY THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE.  BB

[leapyrtwins]

Know the "on the edge" feeling all too well.  Have also been a little "short" with my kids lately.  I'm attributing it to fatigue; am now about 8 weeks postop and while I was fairly energetic when I returned to work full-time a couple of weeks ago, I'm finding that the last few days I'm exhausted.  I think some of my tiredness is due to getting back to my normal life - mowing the lawn (quite a dizzying experience that I didn't anticipate), driving more (rather than being driven), doing household chores that were being down for me (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc.)  I'm trying to get more sleep, but haven't been too successful.  Hoping that this too shall pass 

[Dantheman]

I lose my patience with folks (mostly my kids) when I become fatigued. I'm a bit quicker and sharper to boot...

Dan

[Denise]

Me too.
But, as i get further along in my AN journey, I find I am getting "used" to myself and my limitations and it is getting easier, and I feel less crabby and on edge.
Denise

[Crystal]

Hi Cat,

Rather than on edge I find that occasionally I get up in the morning and feel like I can't cope with anything and get very anxious.  I feel deaf, inadequate, and a little desparate because my brain won't work! The tinitus kicks up a knotch and I start to get way off balance as well as the nagging metalic taste increasing.

As the snowball rolls down the hill a little voice in my head reminds me that the tumor could come back, and I have to go in for an MRI in december, and I don't want to do those MRI's ANY MORE!!!!!

But then I have really good days too.  We just have to allow ourself to be human.   Some of us get anxious, some get angry.  This whole journey carries alot of stress with it.  I hate those bad days! 

[Jackysue]

Wow!  I honestly didn't know this was a common factor.  I can so relate!  I can't handle it some days.  I snap at the smallest things sometimes.  Although at the time of snapping, it seemed important.      Frankly, I'm tired of feeling impatient and anxious.  I'm also tired of not thinking clearly.   I'm sorry that we are all going through this, but it's nice to know that we're not alone.

Hugs

[MLB57]

Hi Catflower--I had microsurgery for 1 cm rt AN in 2001--unfortunately for me residual was left and it's continuing to grow so I'm having LINAC at Mass Gen (Boston MA) starting Sept 10 --but I wanted to let you know that the surgical approach (retrosigmoid)  I had involved moving my brain over to get at the area and I am fortunate not to have any cognitive problems HOWEVER I can't deal with stress. Just about the time I was diagnosed I had reached a burned-out stage in career so was ready to do something less stressful anyway... I would feel overwhelmed and get neck tightness.. Now have a job I love (little stress) but now if I feel any "deadline" with my work I tighten up in my chest (anxiety--not heart problems) so the way stress hits me is different now. I have noticed also that I seem to think faster than I can write and my handwriting is sloppy (don't know if there is any correlation there)... But I do know that emotionally I react stronger in a stressful situation than I did before... and will never work in a stressful, deadline oriented careeer again!!!  Regards, Mary form MA

[redgrl]

Have to say I have been very edgy to, but with time it has eased up a bit. My family helps keep me in check. My thing is driving or my 4 year old. I feel bad afterwards and my 4 year old is looking at me like HUH.