Author Topic: remember me...  (Read 10504 times)

Joef

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remember me...
« on: June 18, 2012, 12:34:20 pm »
It’s been a while for me… while I have been active behind the scenes here , even that had been lacking lately.. .  Phyl  and others – I’m sure you and others have noticed that  I am always by MYSELF at the ANA brunches…. I guess there is a reason for that .. my wife asked me for a divorce ... I am heart-broken … We have never really fought over anything (her words not mine)… she claims she’s just not happy and there is no one else…   at least there are no kids… but throwing away 20 years…. And not sure what’s going to happen next.

So, any 40+ single females not busy ?

ALSO .. for those on my facebook page... please no not mention this, as work and friends that dont know yet.. and it should
           come from me.

« Last Edit: June 18, 2012, 12:59:05 pm by Joef »
4 cm AN/w BAHA Surgery @House Ear Clinic 08/09/05
Dr. Brackmann, Dr. Hitselberger, Dr. Stefan and Dr. Joni Doherty
1.7 Gram Gold Eye weight surgery on 6/8/07 Milford,CT Hospital

pjb

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2012, 01:00:27 pm »
So sorry to hear that now and having to go through what we have it is distressing and especially reading that most of the people on the forum have a significant other to help them get through this it is so hard to do it alone ... I hope you do have other family members siblings, cousins to help you on an emotional level going through this process of a divorce. Things seem to work out and I am sure it will for you as well.

Best Wishes,
Diagnosed with a 1 cm. AN had Retrosigmoid
Approach surgery July of 2009, several problems after surgery.

Jim Scott

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2012, 02:03:53 pm »
Joe ~

I'm terribly sorry to learn of this upheaval in your life after a 20-year marriage.  Not having children is a blessing, of sorts as is the fact that, heart breaking as this must be for you, at least there isn't another man in the picture, which often makes the already-stressful divorce process even more toxic.  You are totally correct in your assertions that breaking the news to your family and circle of friends should come from you and no one else.  About the only positive aspect of this is that at 40, you can still have a 'second chance' at marital happiness. I wish you that and more as you face this challenge and begin a new chapter in your life. 

If you need to take a further hiatus from moderator duties here, I'm sure Judy V. will understand, just as I do (and I trust that goes for Phyl and Jay, too).   Let us know, preferably on the Moderator forum.  Thanks.

Jim
4.5 cm AN diagnosed 5/06.  Retrosigmoid surgery 6/06.  Follow-up FSR completed 10/06.  Tumor shrinkage & necrosis noted on last MRI.  Life is good. 

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.  The way we cope with it is what makes the difference.

Keri

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2012, 05:05:05 pm »
I am so sorry. What a shock. I've had lots of divorce in my family; it's very difficult.

I hope you can be surrounded with friends who care and support you.

Keri
1.5 left side; hearing loss; translab scheduled for 1/29/09 at Univ of MD at Baltimore
My head feels weird!!

ppearl214

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2012, 05:53:53 pm »
I'm at a loss for words... and yes, my gut told me something was up (as you know).  Been there, done that.... Joe, I am SO sorry to hear this.  You know how to find me if I can be of help.... or not.  Hang in there, m'friend. Will check on you later.

Hang tough just doesn't sound right, but it's the best I got right now.

Phyl

It’s been a while for me… while I have been active behind the scenes here , even that had been lacking lately.. .  Phyl  and others – I’m sure you and others have noticed that  I am always by MYSELF at the ANA brunches…. I guess there is a reason for that .. my wife asked me for a divorce ... I am heart-broken … We have never really fought over anything (her words not mine)… she claims she’s just not happy and there is no one else…   at least there are no kids… but throwing away 20 years…. And not sure what’s going to happen next.

So, any 40+ single females not busy ?

ALSO .. for those on my facebook page... please no not mention this, as work and friends that dont know yet.. and it should
           come from me.
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness", Capt Jack Sparrow - Davy Jones Locker, "Pirates of the Carribbean - At World's End"

leapyrtwins

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #5 on: June 18, 2012, 07:00:51 pm »
joef -

I realized you weren't on the Forum that often, but mistakenly figured you were out having fun.  My bad  :P

My marriage ended in divorce after 22 years, but we had numerous issues - plus two children to disagree over.  It was one of the hardest times in my life, but I got through it - and you will get through it too.

Be good to yourself and allow yourself to grieve - but don't stop living.

You were one of the people who was instrumental in my decision to get the BAHA implant, so I owe you big time.  Don't hesitate to PM or email me if you need to talk - if nothing else we can curse lawyers and their outrageous hourly rates  ;)

I'm not in your neck of the woods, but if I ever get there drinks are on me.

Hang in there,

Jan
Retrosig 5/31/07 Drs. Battista & Kazan (Hinsdale, Illinois)
Left AN 3.0 cm (1.5 cm @ diagnosis 6 wks prior) SSD. BAHA implant 3/4/08 (Dr. Battista) Divino 6/4/08  BP100 4/2010 BAHA 5 8/2015

I don't actually "make" trouble..just kind of attract it, fine tune it, and apply it in new and exciting ways

ppearl214

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2012, 04:18:17 am »
I'm not in your neck of the woods, but if I ever get there drinks are on me.

Joe, dang good reason to get her out to our area! :)  Take her up on it! :)  I've met her and seen her in action! :) Phyl
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness", Capt Jack Sparrow - Davy Jones Locker, "Pirates of the Carribbean - At World's End"

Joef

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2012, 04:22:18 am »
joef -

I realized you weren't on the Forum that often, but mistakenly figured you were out having fun.  My bad  :P

I've had some fun ... a new kayak this spring (its more sail boat ) just not with my wife :(

thanks for the kind words, I realize this to shall pass.... I just wish a could fast forward this part ! we both make simular money.... and with no kids, I'm hoping for a quick and easy split of assets.  I rather have a brain tumor than go thu this  :o

Phyl , loss of words? (has that ever happen before?)  ;D  ;D
« Last Edit: June 19, 2012, 05:04:53 pm by Joef »
4 cm AN/w BAHA Surgery @House Ear Clinic 08/09/05
Dr. Brackmann, Dr. Hitselberger, Dr. Stefan and Dr. Joni Doherty
1.7 Gram Gold Eye weight surgery on 6/8/07 Milford,CT Hospital

mindyandy

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2012, 04:27:14 am »
Joe
Phyl a loss for words...hahaha NE-ways my heart goes out to you during this trying time. God will not give you what you cannot handle. Or at least thats how the saying goes. Keep your head up and hang on for the ride. Sooner or later the ride will run out of gas and you will move on  ;)

Mindy
14mm dx 9/07. CK done Seattle  1 year MRI showed some shrinkage. 4 year MRI 2mm growth nothing conclusive. Trigminal nerve involvment Retrosigmoid Friedmand/Schwartz HEI March 7,2012

ppearl214

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2012, 06:50:18 pm »
Hey! I resemble those remarks!!!!!!!!!!!!  ;D

Joe, check your cellphone... you got vmail! :)

Phyl
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness", Capt Jack Sparrow - Davy Jones Locker, "Pirates of the Carribbean - At World's End"

Kaybo

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2012, 08:10:03 pm »
I, too, am at a loss for words - I am so sorry that you are having to go thru this...you are definitely in my thoughts and prayers!

Translab 12/95@Houston Methodist(Baylor College of Medicine)for "HUGE" tumor-no size specified
25 yrs then-14 hour surgery-stroke
12/7 Graft 1/97
Gold Weight x 5
SSD
Facial Paralysis-R(no movement or feelings in face,mouth,eye)
T3-3/08
Great life!

Joef

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #11 on: June 20, 2012, 04:07:24 am »
Hey! I resemble those remarks!!!!!!!!!!!!  ;D

Joe, check your cellphone... you got vmail! :)

Phyl

Thanks for the voice mail ... its good to hear!  :)
4 cm AN/w BAHA Surgery @House Ear Clinic 08/09/05
Dr. Brackmann, Dr. Hitselberger, Dr. Stefan and Dr. Joni Doherty
1.7 Gram Gold Eye weight surgery on 6/8/07 Milford,CT Hospital

ppearl214

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #12 on: June 21, 2012, 04:53:16 am »
Hey! I resemble those remarks!!!!!!!!!!!!  ;D

Joe, check your cellphone... you got vmail! :)

Phyl

Thanks for the voice mail ... its good to hear!  :)

Where's Dionne Warwick when I need her!   "That's what friends are for....................."  :)
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness", Capt Jack Sparrow - Davy Jones Locker, "Pirates of the Carribbean - At World's End"

Joef

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #13 on: June 21, 2012, 05:02:57 am »
yep ... had a night of beers :o at my friends house (who was my best man at our "wedding").  Anyway, I do feel a LOT better.... 8) . Looking forward to the new chapter of life....
4 cm AN/w BAHA Surgery @House Ear Clinic 08/09/05
Dr. Brackmann, Dr. Hitselberger, Dr. Stefan and Dr. Joni Doherty
1.7 Gram Gold Eye weight surgery on 6/8/07 Milford,CT Hospital

It is what it is

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Re: remember me...
« Reply #14 on: June 22, 2012, 06:31:36 am »
I too am sorry to hear about this huge loss on your life. 

Karen
.7cm, left side AN , Tinnitus, Hearing preserved, Middle Fossa 8/1/12 at HEI, Drs Friedman and Schwartz, Sharing your story is extremely helpful to me.