Moving Forward After Acoustic Neuroma Interrupted Our Plans for A Family

Kelly Stedman

In January 2020, I was diagnosed with an acoustic neuroma after failing an audiogram. I was 31 years old. My husband and I planned to have kids, so I decided to have Translab surgery in October.  Though my tumor was fully removed, I was left single-sided deaf with permanent facial paralysis and synkinesis.

My husband was my caretaker during my slow recovery and explained that he would need time to recover from being my caretaker before becoming a father and caring for an infant. Our focus was finding the “new us,” and I was initially frustrated by the delay in having children.

We got pregnant in fall 2022. Frustratingly, my facial paralysis specialist doesn’t do Botox injections during pregnancy or breastfeeding, so I did not have those treatments for almost two years. I was self-conscious of my appearance in our maternity pictures and my facial tightness and function got worse.

My pregnancy went well, and our outcome was a beautiful healthy son. However, I had a complicated labor ending in an emergency cesarean section, with some general anesthesia. The anesthesiologist asked, “Have you ever had anesthesia?”  I felt strangely confident replying, “Yes, for a 13-hour brain surgery.” I bet he didn’t expect that response!

I also have chronic hypertension, which complicated my postpartum recovery.  Being hospitalized and needing help physically did trigger the trauma response that was familiar to me from my AN surgery. My postpartum depression therapist reminded me that as AN warriors are survivors, you must forgive yourself when you are in survival mode. 

My advice would be to take time for yourself and your partner to process the trauma of your AN journey before starting a family. I better understand my husband’s initial considerations.  He was an excellent caretaker to me and our new son. Recognize that the diagnosis interrupted your life but also made you a warrior. Give yourself the license to move forward, feel joy, and plan a future.

Any long-lasting health problems you have will make you a different parent. You will raise an empathetic child that values all people regardless of a disability and that outcome is the most beautiful part.