Discussion about Single Sided Deaf, what is it like?

[Boppie]

We have a family joke about my "whats".  In the recent biographical movie about George Washington, his madness was portrayed by bouts of memory loss and a happy but obsessive "What,What,What,What?" 

Once in a while I will just repeat What,What? to let them know I couldn't decipher.  Then we laugh about poor George.

[leapyrtwins]

My kids are getting very tired of the "WHAT?" question.  Their typical response is "Are you deaf?" to which I reply "As a matter of fact, I am".  That usually gets them to stop and think. 

I have to admit though, that at times not hearing comes in handy - like when they ask me for money 

[Kamara777]

I'm 8mons post-op. Trying to look and feel "back to normal"...succeeding with the look but not so much with the feel. I healed remarkably well. However, the hearing loss, headaches and neck soreness seem to get the best of me. I don't want to act like something is different about me and sure don't want to appear as though I'm not the same...but I'm just NOT. My husband even gets impatient with my inability to hear his every word. My son, on the other hand, likes to kiss my deaf ear to make it feel better. He's the best.

Anyway, I guess I'll have to start accepting this whole thing and making some changes in my behavior to help myself. You would think that I've had 8mons to prepare but I'm just not sure where to start. Unfortunately, a hearing aid is not an option, as per my physician. No audio nerve for it to work with. Oh, well.

I'm open to suggestions...

Thanks.

[Boppie]

Have you grieved enough for your loss?  I know this sounds like feeling sorry for yourself, but it is not.  I found that when I was able to tell my family I missed my hearing and even though I had no choice about the loss of it, I was sad about it.  We are supposed to feel happy to come through the dangerous parts of treatment grateful that we have a life.  And yes, we are luckier than some, but we can still be sad.  From the moment I was able to say I was sad about being different from my former self I was able to move through the process of loss.  Writing on this forum helps to gather thought into print and that helps too. 

As long as there is some hearing on your non AN side you will become extremly good at lip reading.  You are going to learn that there are lots of people around you who have hearing deficits and missunderstandings about your level of hearing.  Take control of your journey.  Teach others how to accept your new you.  Many people will admire you for it. 

[Dzimy]

Hello everyone.  I am almost 1 yr post op and am going through a difficult time.  I thank you for your input on these SSD issues.  I know I'm not alone.  Although here at home it's still very hard to get the point across to my family.  How many times they start a conversation or ask me a question from another room.  Along with a washer running, TV on and windows open.
 I feel the need to escape and go back to work after 10 years at home taking care of grandkids.  I recently got a great job offer and was in a paid training class on my way to being out of the house and more independant.  Problem is I couldn't hear the other students contributing to the conversation.  I couldn't hear the instructor at times.  I did let him know on the second morning of class that I had SSD.  And my AN caused a blood clot which caused vision problems.  A year later I am still on medication and seeing a specialiist at USC for that.  Anyway I couldn't read the blackboard.  I felt so defeated..I quit.
 I am glad to get back on this site to be with those who know exactly what SSD is like.  I thank you all

[Boppie]

You will need to make demands on people close to you; tell them emphatically,  to remember your hearing is changed forever.  Stand up for yourself, and sweetly say, "You must accept me for who I am right now, because this is me forever."  Once you and they assimilate this idea, you will be able to move on with plans.  When people ask me a question in my house with the TV on, I just respond "Beats me!"  They get it every time.  They will learn to speak up or not compete with the TV. 

In the classroom you can get better sound feedback if you sit in the front of the room, a little above the other students on a pillow or better on a stool.  Speak to the teacher about your needs.  A hearing aid does help.   Don't give up.  You can be an example to people who are silently struggling with all sorts of personal issues.  This is the new you!  We are cheering for you!

[ixta]

Hello everyone.  I am almost 1 yr post op and am going through a difficult time.  I thank you for your input on these SSD issues.  I know I'm not alone.  Although here at home it's still very hard to get the point across to my family.  How many times they start a conversation or ask me a question from another room. .............. I am glad to get back on this site to be with those who know exactly what SSD is like.  I thank you all

Hang in there Dz, I even have had the urge to cut off my deaf ear to educate family and friends that yes, IT WAS LIKE AN AMPUTATION OF A LEG WITH GANGRENE, that had to go or I was going to die. (The AN impinging on my Cerebellum).

[windinthesails]

Ill agree with a lot of you that knowing the direction of where sound is comingis a problem. I live in NY and everytime I cross the street I have to check b/c I cant rely on my hearing for safety. It is also really hard when you are talking to someone and they are standing on the deaf side to hear all of their conversation, people have to be a little bit more accomadating and either switch sides or talk really loud. I also noticed that it is hard to hear the person sitting right next to you when you are in a loud and busy situation. That to me can be the most frustrating thing with single sided deafness, even just being on a busy street can make hearing difficult. It is also frustrating for the other people who are talking to you. They get tired of repeating themselves or talking loudly. It is something you have to work with and you learn to always walk, stand, place yourself in a dinning situation, and etc in the best postion for optimal hearing. I also ended up buying a vibrating alarm clock because I tended to sleep on my good ear a lot so I would miss the alarm sound and not wake up when I needed too. You just put it under your pillow and the vibrations are strong that it wakes you right up.  Being SSD does come in nice sometimes when you dont want to hear something or do something to just play the deaf card though, so it has its advantages too.

[Boppie]

I traveled to Ohio this week to see a hospital bound mother-in-law.  I declined taking along my TtransEar because we were on the road ten hours a day with medical affairs and I couldn't have maintained it properly.  I really didn't need a hearing aid at the hospital since mil is almost deaf now; she an I got on well with lip reading, but boy, did I miss the aid on the plane ride home.  I sat next to an older gentleman who told me all about his stained glass work.  I held my hand up to my good ear to funnel his voice for an hour! The TransEar sure would have helped inside the plane. 

Funny thing ...he said, "You know, I can't hear that stewardess on her phone; she talks too fast for me."  It is a small world. 
We SSD have a lot in common with average hearing folks. 

[er]

Hello,
My ringing in my ear that sometimes drives me crazy. 24-7 . Is there anything for it? I friend uses music to be able to sleep with hers.
eve

[Boppie]

tator, I don't know of anything better than resting the eyes and the good ear for several minutes to lessen the ringing.  It is a sign your nerves are tired.  Yes, I find music helps.  I have two girl friends who converse in a small whisper and this is always so soothing to me.  Paying attention to the ringing makes it worse.

[lori78]

I'm being vain, and Boppie, you sure are helpful.
But I am 29, still have that man to find and babies to hopefully have, let alone grangbabies (although my parents are waiting, waiting... HUH?     ) But is the transear large?  Getting nailed with the deafness and having to wear glasses, I tell myself I'm not looking into hearing aides til my hair gets longer and I'm in contacts again.  It's a little hard working on that dating thing when you are 29 and in the aide/glasses although it makes for good jokes!!  Just curious what I have to expect.  Great to hear (no pun intended) that insurance covers it for some!  Fingers crossed!!

How many of you can't locate your car sometimes??  I live in the city and often forget where I park.  When I hit my remote locator I have no flippin' clue where the sound  comes from.  My poor neighbors!!  Once I had to go up to a nice lady and say "Hi, I'm half deaf, can you please tell me where you hear that sound coming from?  I also can't differentiate sound."  She looked puzzled, but was helpful! 

[Boppie]

Lori, I am sending a pm with a photo of my ear with the TransEar in it.